Have you ever wondered how some couples manage to stay together for decades, navigate different lifestyles and different seasons, and raise a family continuously? Well, let me share our story.
Mark and I have been married for 36 years, and it's been quite the journey. We have four adult children and we have continued to parent as foster parents. Whilst navigating a marriage, we have been navigating a "family" for almost 40 years. We've learned that a good marriage isn't about never disagreeing; it's about continually striving to make it work, supporting each other's happiness and health, and never losing sight of our love for one another.
Maintaining a healthy marriage isn't just crucial for us; it's the cornerstone of our family's well-being. Kids are highly attuned to the atmosphere between their parents and it's evident that a harmonious relationship positively impacts them. As we've grown older, we've realized the importance of carving out individual time while cherishing moments together.
Communication has been our lifeline. Being open and honest with each other fosters understanding and empathy, enabling us to tackle challenges together effectively. Quality time is non-negotiable; whether it's a breakfast date or date night, a night away at a hotel or even finding a quiet place to chat, these moments strengthen our bond and keep the romance alive.
Our evening routine, starting at 7 pm, is sacrosanct. It's our time to unwind and connect, away from the demands of the day. The foster kids need to be upstairs and all sorted. They can read or do homework or go to bed, depending on their ages. After that time, it is "parent's time together". We also make a conscious effort to model a healthy relationship to our children, using terms of endearment and openly expressing our affection. We get silly in front of the kids on purpose. We call each other boyfriend/girlfriend, tell each other that their handsome/pretty, ask if they want to "smooch". The kids say, "Yuck" and "Eew!", but we want to set an example for them of loving parents. They may have never seen that before.
It hasn't always been smooth sailing. Like any couple, we've faced our share of struggles, seeking guidance from counselors when needed and when we wanted accountability as to how we were handling our own children's issues. Through it all, our commitment to each other has remained steadfast, and we've been rewarded with a love that continues to grow.
In the end, sustaining a happy and stable marriage takes work, but the rewards are immeasurable. Mark still makes me blush, and I'm as captivated by him now as I was on our wedding day. Together, we've built a life filled with laughter, love, and endless adventure. He likes me too! (Years ago he started the "How'd he get her?" Club on facebook)
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